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Taking a whippet for a walk

Article published 6th Jul 10
Taking a whippet for a walk Stray

What:
Taking a whippet for a walk

Where:
To Tiamo, 303 Lygon St, Carlton. And around the neighbourhood.

When:
After you do the quiz together

Related links:
Richie '1250' Hebden is celebrating 5 years of his radio show Stone Love this Sat Jul 10 at the Arthouse. BBQ starts 6pm, then The Exotics, The Once Overs, Brides of Christ and more! All profits to PBS.

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First, get yourself a whippet. I borrowed my housemate's, but you can always buy your own or get one out from the whippet library. Next, select a jumper for your whippet. In spring I like to run with a continental french sailor dog look, but right now it's best to go for something along the lines of a daggy, brunswick-green goretex jumpsuit, lest your whippet lose 5% of his body mass in an hour (and incur you fines at the whippet library).

Now parade your whippet around the neighbourhood! You will find that being attached to a hilarious looking dog in a jumpsuit endears you to old Russian peasant women and pert young spunks alike, and soon you are chatting amiably to an attractive poodle with a dog of her own. Take them to Tiamo and make eyes over marinara while your dogs chew bones and bark sweet nothings under the table.

Things will be going well until your whippet bites its date and urinates on yours. Lucky for you, whippets have been historically used as bed warmers, so even if you don't get your rocks off, you won't freeze them either. In the morning, put on a record (anything on the Whippet label), get the paper and do the quiz with your whippet. Whippets are very intelligent so don't feel bad if you lose. Treat your whippet to a pigs ear, pick out a snappy jumper and do it all again!    

By Richie Hebden

Ambience: Adventure

Location: Urban

Keywords: fitness, Dogs

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