What:
Cut Off Your Hands
Where:
The Corner Hotel, 57 Swan St, Richmond
When:
Fri July 25, doors 8.30pm
How much:
$15 +BF
Description:
If you can imagine the beginning of Hard Days Night and combine the heady mass of women with the wrestling boys featured in the ‘This Boy's in Love' clip, you're kind of imagining the kind of slamming bodies at a Cut Off Your Hands gig. Or, for a visual that's much easier to imagine, watch their ‘Expectations' film clip.
Event: Bands
Stimulus: C
What:
Is Not Senior Prom
Where:
37 A'Beckett St, Melbourne (it's a warehouse-cum-school gym)
When:
Fri July 25, 6pm-1pm
How much:
$5 at the door, cheap beer, wine and punch
Description:
If you only ever read about tulle skirts, corsages and slow dancing in Sweet Valley High books, Is Not Magazine are giving you two more days to find a date for the Senior Prom. The brains behind Is Not have rolled out their very last issue and each moving on to other, more economically reasonable projects - call it a rite of passage if you like.
Event: Party
Stimulus: C
What:
KidsWhoSpeakNoWords party #2
Where:
Bunker Lounge, 407 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Fri July 25, doors 9pm
How much:
$5 with password on door, $10 without
Description:
The first KidsWhoSpeakNoWords party was a true 'Night of Mayhem'. Not just because the Facebook group classified it as one but because there was an illegally large amount of fuzzy individuals, and these individuals drank the bar dry - fact. And, the door girls were completely boozed - another fact.
Event: Party
Stimulus: E
What:
Pikelet headline show
Where:
Evelyn Hotel, 351 Brunswick St, Fitzroy
When:
Fri July 25, doors 8.30pm
How much:
$10 at the door
Description:
Finally, after much anticipation, Pikelet's very first headline show is set for this Friday at the Evelyn Hotel. (Could this be more perfect? Evelyn at the Evelyn. *Sighs*). For Pikelet virgins, Melbourne's wonder girl Evelyn Morris is a solo artist, producing fascinating, multi-tiered music using an old accordion, a guitar and a delay pedal.
Event: Bands
Stimulus: W
What:
Sabbatical presents: Breathing Shrine
Where:
Forepaw Gallery, 275 High Street, Northcote
When:
Fri July 25, first band starts 8pm sharp
How much:
$5 (or thereabouts)
Description:
Sabbatical presents a night of haunting sounds with power-duo Breathing Shrine making a rare live appearance. Featuring the dual attack of Rob Mayson and Bonnie Mercer from the mighty Grey Daturas, Breathing Shrine takes the audience to brink (and sometimes over). Also by the show also features the fine work of Family Jewels, Krystkrvstoffiston, Absoluten Calfeutrail and Blarke Bayer.
Event: Bands
Stimulus: A
What:
Wrestlerock vs. KISStroyer
Where:
The HiFi Bar, 125 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Fri July 25, doors 8pm
How much:
$20
Description:
Whatcha gonna do brother, when the 24 inch pythons run wild on you? Do you wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day? If you appreciate the buttloads of awesome inherent in the last two sentences, then do we have a show for you. What could be cooler than spending a cold wintry Friday night watching some oiled up musclemen in tights have a good old slap and cuddle, while being serenaded by four other men in make-up and blow-dried hair? No, not like that, (although if you're free Thursday we might be able to fit you in), we are talking about the majesty of professional wrestling and KISS cover bands.
Event: Exhibition
Stimulus: sound the horns!
What:
Favela Rock
Where:
Miss Libertine, 34 Franklin St, Melbourne
When:
Sat July 26, doors 9.30pm
How much:
$10
Description:
There are many ways to clean a sneaker. However, most of these are inglorious. Such as Napisan, leather paint, the rough side of a tongue, what have you. So wear beaters to Favela because getting your drank on that cheap can mean getting dinner on your feet. (Drink specials this month include $5 shots of Agwa or Tequila before midnight.
Event: Party
Stimulus: E
What:
Sweet Jelly Roll
Where:
Bella Union, Trades Hall, 54 Victoria St, Carlton
When:
Sat July 26, 8pm
How much:
$10 at the door
Description:
Words cannot describe the shake-your-tail-featherly gorgeous woman featured on the flyer of this next episode of Sweet Jelly Roll. She's bare-bellied, clad in a pointed bra - she's shaking to something that'll be played on the night of Sweet Jelly Roll, no doubt; something swingable, something straight out of Memphis.
Event: Party
Stimulus: C
What:
Tomas Ford (will try not to hurt you) with Casionova and Talkshow Boy
Where:
Wesley Anne, 250 High St, Northcote
When:
Sat July 26, doors 8.30pm (yes, he is also playing the 2am slot at Pony on Friday, but not all of us are so very young anymore)
How much:
$10
Win:
We have 2 dbl passes plus a copy each of the
limited tour CD "A Concise Introduction To Tomás Ford" to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line ‘Kindly Do'
Description:
"If you haven't seen me play live, you haven't lived, as these reviews will tell you. So if I'm making the effort to come play near you, kindly do make the effort to come party down with me." He makes a point, but here is what someone other than Tomás has to say: "Ford starts his shows tweaking electro beats behind a fortress of milk crates and gadgetry.
Event: Bands
Stimulus: E
What:
Noise Club Band residency
Where:
The Tote, Cnr Johnston St and Wellington St, Collingwood
When:
Wednesdays in July. Starting Wed July 9, doors 8pm
How much:
$5 on door
Description:
How much bang can you get for five bucks? A colossal wave of feathers, jewels, leathers and fur; a nerve-rattling audio explosion of kazoos, melodicas, vacuums and strings; a few hot minutes rolling around in warm mud with a stranger; a hypnotic, harmonious gathering of friends and lovers, performers and punters; foxy women boasting retina-singeing pink tights; chesty men wearing y-fronts and nothing else; Love is Science Fiction, Ships Piano, The Strange Attractions and a microphone - all of the above, on stage, every Wednesday night at The Tote.
Event: Bands
Stimulus: A
What:
Paris Wells
Where:
Roxanne Parlour, Lvl 3, 2 Coverlid Pl, Melbourne
When:
Thursdays in July, doors 8.30pm
How much:
$10 on door
Description:
Paris Wells eschews similarity to Orson Welles. What she does represent, with Somersault-meets-Abbie Cornish strawberry blonde bangs, is sexually-adrenalized funk, soul and pop-hotness. Paris's Roxanne residency this month promises all the things you'd expect from a lady who supported Señor Timberlake last November, plus primal urges.
Event: DJs
Stimulus: E
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