Keyword results: Gift
Geeks are the shit. They invent stuff you never knew you needed, but can't live without once you've seen it. Who doesn't need a spy camera video watch or an umbrella with the handle of a samurai sword? And, while we're on the topic of weaponry, how can you turn down a swashbuckling BBQ sword? See: The.
Most of what you're going to find here can only be described as cute. I'm not the only one saying it: while I was looking around, two girls walked in and the first thing one of them said was "Oh! Isn't this cute?"
How cute? We're talking alphabet paperclips, speech bubble blackboards and paper napkins printed with a map of Berlin.
There is great joy in giving gifts... but not always so much joy in finding them. Especially not if you have to do it in a sweaty, drunken, Christmas-party-fuelled city. Or if you're buying for a person you don't really know that well. Behold this year's Rooftop Cinema Gift Voucher - potentially the finest Yuletide solution short of converting to Judaism.
The story that follows is a festering blight on my record, not to mention an indictment of humanity. It starts with me being in New York City, which is the good part. Walking in the door of MoMA, I am repelled by the population of Florida queueing for tickets. I leave and go over the road to the store, where I intend to purchase a ceramic cup so I can pretend I went to MoMA, while being ironic about the homeless population of New York in the comfort of my own kitchen.
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