Thursday 2nd July
Royce blames it on nerdy chicks
Jess blames it on Jack Ladder
Robbie blames it on Hunter S. Thompson
Simon and Jade blame it on Hilary Swank
Max blames it on old books
Sam blames it on girls on film
Jeremy blames it on blades of air
Jason blames it on Lou Diamond Phillips
RIP MJ x
ThreeThousand 212 - blames it on the boogie
Also on the site right now!
STREET - Mark Drew, C-90 launch
READ - PARIS, LA #2
HEAR - God Help the Girl
Cover image by Tin Nguyen. If you would like to submit a covershot, that would be so rad! Email photo@threethousand.com.au.
Qua, Goodmorning Sun
Billy's Balls
Rittenhouse resort collection
Riding a hydro station
Yann Travaille tattoos
"computer" shirts
Stack Magazines
Shitbrain
Discovering world's biggest douchebag
Clear instructions
Mean Cards
Ben cared
Tell us what's cool
cool@threethousand.com.au
Wah? It's broken
sexy execs
Revenge of the fallen
Shuttlebikes
Fancy Fast food
Geek shirts
Vibe magazine folds
Balls romper
world's biggest douchebag
No repestect
Movies
But where were WE, people?
Tell us what's fool
fool@threethousand.com.au
What:
Focus on Girls 24/7
Where:
ACMI Cinemas
When:
Fri July 3 - Sun July 12
Win:
Thanks to ACMI, we have 10 dbl passes to give away! You choose which films to see. To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'She's more than a lady'
When Norman Jewison was to film the Malcolm X story, Spike Lee protested that only a black who had experienced the specific challenges firsthand was qualified to direct. The Focus on Girls series at ACMI seems to ask "Should this theory extend to the sexes as well?" And if we were judging on the quality of flicks presented here my answer would be - goddamn yes!
Highlights include: Cleo From 5 to 7, directed by Agnes Varda - the only woman in the boys club of French New Wave - who shows the sunny side of a wait for cancer results. Czech masterpiece Daisies portrays two girls gone wild - in a world gone bad they just go mad! So few so-called art movies are as much fun as these two!
The series covers off a former fighter pilot turned school principal (Wings), pragmatic and adulterous East End housewives (Sparrows Can't Sing), one night stands that change lives (The Lost Honour of Katharina Blum) and the ultimate anti-Bonnie and Clyde film (Wanda).
This is a not-to-be-missed series that gives a long overdue airing to these gender-breaking films that despite huge critical acclaim are so rarely seen. Viva la femme!
Format: Festival
Mood: Smarts
What:
Sideways: Travels with Kafka, Hunter S. & Kerouac
Who:
Patrick O'Neil
Where:
All good bookstores
How much:
Around $35
Patrick O'Neil is loose and always has been. So it's not hard to imagine that, when the chain-smoking arts student from Melbourne was unleashed on the world with little more than a fedora and a fanciful ambition to become a writer, some strange and wonderful things happened; baleful encounters in Amsterdam alleys, acid trips in the Sahara desert, stand-offs with Jamaican gangsters.
But, just as one of the book's major influences, Dr Thompson, ruminated, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Inherently weird, O'Neil expertly delves into the trials, freedoms and tribulations posed to a twenty-something scaling the world with no plans. Sideways has a wonderful voice. Every one of O'Neil's lucid descriptions makes you feel like jumping the next plane to Mexico and knocking on the door of peyote-induced psychosis.
My guess is that one day O'Neil is going to get so far out, he may never come back. In the interim, get a copy of Sideways, saunter down to the Black Cat, and ask him to sign your copy in exchange for a pot of lager.
Format: Book
Motivation: Good with a whiskey in the bath
Keywords: Hunter S Thompson, gonzo
What:
Renee Farina shoes
Where:
All of the Above, 109 Victoria St, Fitzroy
How much:
Around $380
Contact:
8415 0461
You know that scene in PS I Love You when Hilary Swank discovers that what she really wants is to be a shoe designer? Well let's pretend for a moment that Hilary Swank is Melbourne local Renee Farina and that the movie is real life. Then the product of Renee's hard work and imagination would look something like these awesome ankle boots, not some lame pair that she already owned with a brooch super glued on top.
Yep, one look at these puppies and you'll be wishing you had them already wrapped around your walking gear. All handmade and hand-carved from Australian suede and leather, they are incredibly comfortable for going to the next label launch, high tea or society do. Despite having only just started, Renee is already looking to extend her range to guys shoes for next season. Hurray for you, impeccably dressed gentlemen.
Available exclusively at All of the Above and in limited quantities, they won't bring Gerard Butler back, but they sure will ease the pain a little.
Product: Fashion
Theft: Theft is likely
Keywords: Shoes, All of the Above
What:
Jack Ladder interview
Who:
Jess Cornelius (Teeth & Tongue) talks to Jack Ladder
Where:
See him live with Kid Sam and Teeth & Tongue at NSC, 301 High St, Northcote
When:
Fri July 3, doors 8.30pm
How much:
$12 +BF from here or $15 on the door
Image:
By Wilk
Win:
Thanks to Speak n Spell we have a dbl pass to give away! To enter email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'Is it okay if I call you Admiral Pussyhound?'
If you lived in Sydney a few years ago and ordered a pizza, you may have had the pleasure of opening the door to see Jack Ladder standing there holding your stuffed-crust supreme. I'm sure it was an okay job but he's since given that up to do boring things like making albums and performing on American breakfast television.
Teeth & Tongue are touring with him, and in true media-whore fashion I offered to not only play the tour but write about it as well. Strangely, people seem to be more interested in Jack Ladder than my brilliantly documented Hume Highway breakfasts, so I convinced him to let me record one of our conversations. We're on the balcony of the Annandale Hotel clutching girly vodka drinks and he's graciously answering my questions in a voice so mellifluous that most of the interview barely registers on my Dictaphone.
Jess Cornelius: Have you ever been in a band with matching outfits, like boiler suits or skinny ties?
Jack Ladder: No, but I used to play bass in a band and we wore a lot of epaulettes. Military regalia. I got bored before we'd even started. But they had some sort of success so I just kept doing it until it got too much. They're on tour with Placebo now.
JC: I can't imagine you doing that. You don't wear eyeliner.
JL: Well that was always a bone of contention. I always felt a little awkward in eyeliner.
JC: It's an awkward accessory. Do you bake?
JL: Do I get stoned?
JC: No, I mean cakes and scones and things.
Read the rest here...
Release: Live
To Cure: A broken heart
Keywords: Jack Ladder, Jess Cornelius
What:
Bookworms Never Go to Bed Alone, Kelly Thompson
Where:
Gorker Gallery, 395 Gore St, Fitzroy
When:
Launching Thurs July 2, 6.30-8.30pm
Exhibition runs until July 19
Q: How many nerdy girls does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Don't know, don't care.
Just kidding. A few people care. More importantly, when nerdy girls grow up and blossom into cluey, weirdly intimidating alterna-hotties with amazing taste in music, I care. When you think about it, who doesn't love a girl who is equally comfortable talking about Studio Ghibli movies as she is scoring pingers at four in the morning?
Gorker Gallery presents Bookworms Never Go to Bed Alone, a new body of work by NZ artist Kelly Thompson. Comprising paintings, illustrations, prints and more, this (let's be honest) sexy exhibition proves the old adage that inside every clever nerdy girl, there's a girl too clever to remain nerdy. Be there and be square.
Medium: Illustration
Drink: Anything, as long as you look good holding it
Keywords: Gorker Gallery, Fitzroy, boobs
What:
Brown & Bunting
Where:
237 High St, Northcote
When:
Tues-Thurs 11am-6pm, Fri 11am-8pm, Sat-Sun 11am-6pm
Contact:
9481 3388 or books@brownandbunting.com
I like the idea of second-hand bookshops. All those ragged travellers from the past jammed into a musty, badly lit detention centre, awaiting rescue. New bookshops are warm and smell nice. Thing is, the books don't come cheap, and perpetual browsing just makes you feel guilty and empty.
Brown & Bunting recognise this disparity and meet us halfway. This is a second-hand bookshop that presents its precious titles with the respect they deserve. Intriguing covers jump out at you from every corner - BAM! Russian Military Swords 1801-1817. POW! A first edition Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley. A special line in early edition children's books is aimed at discerning hipsters as much as their kids.
The owners Benita and Travis have been in the game for a while already, and continue to hold weekly stalls at the Fed Square book markets. But this is their baby. The shelving is beautiful, modernist and light brown, specially designed to accentuate the books and fit in with their personal tastes for titles from the '50s to the '70s. It really makes you wonder why you would ever buy a new edition of a book that was made with love so long ago.
Product: Books
Anatomy: Heart
Keywords: Books, Northcote, Second Hand
What:
The islands of Copperfield Bay
Where:
50 miles east of the Bahamas
How much:
Island base rate per day, up to 12 persons, US $37,500. For parties of 13-18 people, add $1,500 for each additional person per day.
Contact:
David Copperfield (877) 889-1100 or (203) 602-0300
"Who'd have thought a magician could get this rich?" I said, stepping from David Copperfield's private jet. Lou was less than astonished, "The guy was engaged to Claudia Schiffer wasn't he? You've seen his head, he has to be loaded."
I gave it some thought as we crossed the hot tarmac and climbed into the limo that would take us to our hotel. A small television flickered on as we skidded away. It was Copperfield in an open gauze shirt. "Mr. Diamond-Phillips, Mr. Crombie, welcome to the Exumas! Welcome to The Islands of Copperfield Bay! I hope you find your stay plea..." Lou shut him off with a thump and began fixing us a couple of Mai Tais from the mini bar. I stared out the window and watched the cerulean waters of the south Bahamas shimmer in the sun.
"A magician." I groaned. "Re-laaax, man." said Lou, handing me my drink. "We've been invited to a sex-party on a private island, okay? It'll be fun! And loo-ook!" he sang, "There's an ipod dock in here!" I held his drink as he rummaged through his pockets like a badger and produced an ipod. "What's your poison?" he asked. "Take a letter Maria" I sighed, "And leave it on repeat."
Ambience: Outdoor
Difficulty: Won't hurt a bit
There's something in the air near the corner of Little Bourke and King Street, and its not the scent of impending violence. It's the thick clouds of smoke reeking of Umami.
Wikipedia says that Umami is a loanword from Japanese meaning roughly "tasty", although also "brothy", "meaty", or "savory", which is exactly what brought me into Melbourne Hwaro Korean Barbecue.
Sure, I could go on about the amazing selection of meats that get awkwardly cooked over a pit of fire before your very eyes by well-meaning staff, but all you really need to know are the following:
1) Each table has a doorbell. This doorbell will bring you more meat.
2) There is an outdoor smoking area. This area is for real smokers only, as you will be inhaling copious amounts of smoke from said doorbell meat.
3) They have the DYSON AIRBLADE in their bathrooms, which dries your hands with BLADES OF AIR. 'nuff said.
Venue: Restaurant
Meal: Lunch and dinner

Description:
Get your HORSE MEAT DISCO tickets now. It is on next week, but they're selling like dim sims.
Do not forget hot chicks on paper launch at Gorker TONIGHT!
Keg de Souza's zine launch. She doesn't mess around. We're talking hard cover product.
Skipping Girl Vinegar. Flashing on Victoria Street. Just kidding. Playing the NSC.
We Are the Image Makers, 12x12 launch tomorrow! Double check the address: No Vacancy has vacated the place you went last time. You will find that there is, in fact, a vacancy.
Event: Bowls
Stimulus: Cheap Treasure
Keywords: More OUTs
What:
Bastardy, CERES fundraiser screening
Where:
Kino Cinema, 45 Collins St, Melbourne
When:
TONIGHT! Thurs July 2, 6pm
How much:
$25 inc. wine, beer and nibbles after the film
Description:
As a place, CERES blurs the line between self-sustainable village, educational resource, kick-ass nursery and crazy second-hand bike shop. As a film, Bastardy blurs the line between director and accomplice, exploring the life of actor/criminal Jack Charles, self-proclaimed Robin Hood of the streets. A match made in heaven! The two entities are blurring the lines between each other with a special fundraiser screening of Bastardy at the Kino, followed by a Q&A with Jack Charles and filmmaker Amiel Courtin-Watson. - MO
Event: Supper
Stimulus: Love
Keywords: CERES, Environmental, Australian
What:
Garage Sale at 1000 £ Bend
Where:
361 Little Lonsdale St, Melbourne
When:
From today, Thurs July 2 until everything is sold. Mon-Fri 8am-8pm, Sat-Sun 11am-8pm.
How much:
Cheap
Description:
There wasn't much in the way of space at the old St Jeromes. In fact, it was extremely claustrophobic at the best of times, in a charming Sesame Street kind of way. The ‘new Jeromes', however, 1000 £ Bend, is freakin' huge. Huge! That's why they can now put on events like this massive garage sale, full of sharehouse essentials such as plaster cows, framed marlins, AFL issue Chuck Taylor copies, a hand painted VW Beetle and craploads of chairs. And by chairs, I mean milk crates. Only joking. - MO
Event: Sales
Stimulus: Cheap Treasure
Keywords: bric-a-brac, Furniture, St Jeromes, Garage sale
What:
Grouse Queer Party
Where:
Neverwhere Bar, 185 Smith St, Fitzroy
When:
Thurs July 2, 9pm - 3am
How much:
$10
Description:
Having thrown some of the most debauched parties this side of a Puerto Rican pride festival, Grouse have established themselves as SERIOUS PARTY PEOPLE. The thing is, it's always been about girls behind the decks. As Jay Z would put it: "Girls, girls, girls, girls / girls I do adore." While that's great and all, they've decided to change things up a bit for this latest party and have drafted in an 'all boys, all the time' line-up. In other words, a bit of hello sailor alongside the regular mix of booze and broads. - MN
Event: Party
Stimulus: Fun
What:
Alan Braxe
Where:
Roxanne, Lvl 3, 2 Coverlid Pl, Melbourne
When:
Fri July 3, doors 10pm
How much:
$20 +BF from here, more on the door
Win:
We have 4 dbls to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'Love might / bring us both together'
Description:
Alan Braxe: to the max. He sounds like an accountant but that's where you're wrong. He teamed up with Thomas Bangalter (Daft Punk) and Ben Diamond to form the group Stardust, which released the club classic 'The music sounds better with you'. He's officially remixed Goldfrapp, Kelis, Jamiroquai, Justice, Björk, Britney Spears and Kylie Minogue. Imagine the waiting room at his office. Anyway Alan's playing Roxanne with support from Joel Alpha, Sleeves, Josh Jacq, Rollerboy, Yoshi and more. Alan Braxe: won't do your tax. - PM
Event: DJs
Stimulus: sound the horns!
Keywords: DJs
What:
Kings Way: The Beginnings of Australian Graffiti book launch
Where:
Metropolis, Lvl 3, Curtin House, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Sat July 4, 3pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
Before there were stencils, highbrow art exhibits, clothing labels and all the rest of it, there was graffiti. Kids with spray cans jumping fences, planning raids on train yards, stealing supplies and covertly going about their business. With 1200 full colour photos from the back in the day, Kings Way documents the birth of Melbourne's graffiti culture (and the crews that ran it) like nothing before. Get down to the launch at Metropolis and you can have your copy tagged by the authors. - MN
Event: Supper
Stimulus: Culture
Keywords: Metropolis, Graffiti
What:
Tangerine first birthday!
Where:
Curtin Bandroom, 29 Lygon St, Carlton
When:
Sat July 4, doors 8pm
How much:
$8 on the door, half price Jamieson
Description:
Ages ago our intern Tait Modern, god knows where he is now, probably corner office New York Times, told us about an awesome short film night called Tangerine. Well, it's still on - the first Tuesday of every month. And they're turning one! Colette and the Tangerine team are putting on a party called "American Independance Daze." Yes, independance - the dance is for dance. Dirty York, Jupiter's Child and The Hello Morning live, and short films too. In homage to the Irish roots of America there's discount Jamieson. But Isabel won't be there this time to call the ambulance. You know who you are. We've all seen enough of your stomach acid. - PM
Event: Party
Event: Supper
Keywords: Bands, Curtin Bandroom, Film
What:
The New Order #2 launch
Where:
Don't Come, Lvl 2, Royal Arcade, 314 Lt Collins St, Melbourne
When:
Sat July 4, 4-6pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
Getting an independent magazine out the door in this day and age is an absolute NIGHTMARE. It's sort of like, dunno, dragging an angry donkey up a hill. And one of your legs is broken. Congratulations then, to The New Order magazine for dragging their second angry mule up that bastard. Issue 2 is based around pop art and has two separate covers - by KAWS and Takashi Murakami. - MN
Event: Launch
Stimulus: Cheap Beer/Drinks
Keywords: independent publishing, KAWS, Don't Come, The New Order magazine
What:
'Sunday Best' - We're Store 1st birthday party
Where:
6 Degrees Bar, The Hilton, Cairns
When:
Sun July 5, 3-9pm
How much:
Free! Email Lorena for doorlist
Description:
You know what's more fun than 14 degrees, rainy, wind gusts and swine flu? Pretty much anything. Personally, we're rather liking the idea of cocktails by the pool in far north Queensland. Wait! Massive coincidence! We're Store is having a first birthday party up at the Hilton in Cairns and are kindly offering to give us free Absolut cocktails if we meet them there. What does it cost to fly there? Oh, let us check. Um $2. See you there Mr Shivers. - MN
Event: Party
Stimulus: Barefeet
Keywords: We're store, Cocktails, Cairns
What:
Grindhouse: The Sequel
Where:
The Toff, Lvl 2, Curtin House, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Sun July 5, doors 8pm
How much:
$25 + BF from here and Polyester (City)
Description:
Unlike the Quentin Tarantino / Robert Rodriguez double bill, the first Grindhouse party at the TIT went down a treat. With extra sprinkles. Hosted by Sarah Lea Cheesecake, it featured dancing girls, burlesque, slight of hand, cocktails, film screenings and more. Also, a line. A couple of hundred people missed out on tickets and had to stand around outside like suckers. Suckers! Do not let this happen to you again. - MN
Event: Party
Event: Supper
Keywords: Burlesque, The Toff in Town, Film
What:
Round She Goes vintage sale
Where:
340 Camberwell Rd, Camberwell
When:
Sun July 5, 10am - 3pm
How much:
$2
Description:
Real simple, this. Round She Goes sells the best in pre-loved designer fashion and vintage clothing. All the deadbeat bogan stuff (read: tracksuit pants, stretched tees) has been filtered out and ceremoniously burned - leaving nothing but awesome. Oh yeah, the sale is indoors and there's jewellery and stuff as well, so you can totes accessorise. - MN
Event: Sales
Stimulus: Cheap Treasure
Keywords: Vintage, Camberwell
What:
Call for entries - The Spirit of the Black Dress
Where:
Visit the site
When:
Entries close July 31
Description:
Some say the role of a fashion designer, when stripped of its layers, rivals reinventing the wheel. Often it's about reinterpreting the classics; zapping old ideas into a modern context. Take the LBD, the postmodern wardrobe staple, which has seamlessly morphed through the ages. To celebrate the LBD's proclivity for reinvention, The Spirit of the Black Dress is offering ten fashion/textile designers the chance to get a foot in the door and display their wares at Georges Arcade during Melbourne Spring Fashion Week by submitting an interpretation of a contemporary black dress. Make mama Coco proud. - ST
Event: Fair
Event: Supper
Keywords: Design, Competition
The new Vans Classic Plus collection is a bit like the Vans you know and trust - vulcanised rubber soles, shoelaces, you wear them on your feet - only this time around someone's gotten very excited about colours. And why not? Say it loud and say it proud: "I have FEET! Look at them! They're WALKING! Now they're standing. NOW THEY'RE WALKING AGAIN! Yess!"
Feet have been the overlooked work-horse of the human body since the dawn of time and we say it's time for change. Fight the power! Burn down the parliament! Colours aren't just for windcheaters! Wear them on your feet and join in the struggle for equality.
Pick up a pair of these kaleidoscopic kicks from Vans by answering the following question.
This week's question:
The best type of sneaker is
a) a free sneaker
b) a freedom sneaker
c) a restricting, grey, despotic sneaker
d) ANY SNEAKER OMG GIVE ME THE SNEAKERS!!!
Send your answer, name and mailing address to win@threethousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry! Not a subscriber? Wha? It's free you willies. Sign up here.
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