Thursday 19th March
So we just checked our finances and we don't have any. But we have our wits, and bling is cheap. In fact, if Acrassicauda can keep it together and Abi Crompton comes good with her tea towel scuplture prize and you can fit two people in your boot, there's no reason we can't all have the week from streak.
ThreeThousand 197 - more flash than cash
Also on the site right now:
WORK - Universal Favourite
Cover image by Corey White. If you would like to submit a covershot, that would be so rad! Email photo@threethousand.com.au.
Heavy Metal in Baghdad
What:
Heavy Metal in Baghdad
Where:
DVD out now through Vice Films and Shock
How much:
$24.95 + postage
Win:
We have 2 DVDs to give away! To enter, email us with the subject ‘long hair and touring with Metallica is my dream too'
If you haven't seen it already, Heavy Metal in Baghdad follows Iraq's first and only metal band, Acrassicauda, as it fights to stay alive in the aftermath of Saddam's overthrow. It's an incredible story and a lot of it's a total bummer. The band only gets to plays three or something gigs in five years, not for lack of enthusiasm but rather a massive surplus of bullets, bombs and rockets. Some of these aforementioned rockets even blow up the band's practice space, along with all their gear.
Throughout this terrifying shitstorm, Acrassicauda manages to stick together. More amazingly, they keep alive their dreams of growing long hair and touring with Metallica. In doing so, they give us a unique perspective on war, exile, as well as what being in a band should mean. The drummer, Marwan, turns out to be particularly articulate and even a little bit profound, which is weird if you know any drummers.
For those of you who have seen it, this DVD release includes a bonus 45-minute featurette about Acrassicauda's ongoing struggles as exiles in Turkey, as well as extra scenes and heaps of great music from the band.
Format: DVD
Mood: Rad
Keywords: Music, Vice, Documentary, Metal
Foma
More astounding new form music from the strident UK underground this week courtesy of 22 year-old Luke Blair, also known as Lukid.
Steeped in the hyper textural, atmospheric edit style of new psych-beat genius Flying Lotus - but more on a down-low, subtly Ambient, or simply more blazed tip - Lukid's second album, Foma, is sequenced music unbound on the astral plane, entrancing and as far gone from its beats and samples digi-design as is possible. Soul-drenched, unhurried and never austere, Blair's loping, fug-blunted production clips project an alternate, languorous future for instrumental hip-hop.
Opening track, 'Ice Nine' is Erik Satie on a vapouriser - its plaintive piano, bed of sample static and tranquilised claps starting the reverie at sub-consciousness level. 'Raise High the Roof Beam' follows like a more blunted cut from Manitoba's debut; with subdued bells, more drum hits and spiraling soft-key melody snippets.
From here the dream's strength builds with sub basses, drones and the onset of some masterful stumble-beat programming. Ultimately, Foma is a hypnotically inviting record that rarely sounds 'electronic' in the old sense.
Release: Album
To Cure: Hypertension
Keywords: UK
Sugar In The Air
What:
Sugar In The Air
Who:
By E.C. Large. Re-published by Hyphen Press with Dexter Sinister.
Where:
At The Narrows, Lvl 2, 141 Flinders La, Melbourne
Or online, here and here
How much:
$55 at the Narrows, or AUD $40 + postage online
Related links:
Asleep in the Afternoon, God's Amateur
With every Jo Blogs getting published these days, it's easy to think to yourself, 'Well, why can't I be a author? I know grammar and have a folio comprising of stuff I writes, like all the time my opinions count.' Well, Sugar In The Air has made me realise the second reason you shouldn't be published.
Having been out of print for decades and plucked from obscurity this year by Hyphen Press, working with Stuart Bailey (of Dot Dot Dot and Dexter Sinister), Sugar In The Air - first published 1937 - demonstrates why we should be saving our trees to rescue good books instead of writing new ones.
And it shows that we don't have any new ideas, anyway. It's a manifesto for frustrated designers; it's a reason to be proud of making things as opposed to selling them. It's basically a critique of the mass-market approach to commerce. Yep. Too late, Gladwell. But wait, there's more. It's also a love story! Weird to read a narrative that so closely mirrors your own life even though the protagonist uses carbon paper and thinks of Nazis as guys with nice uniforms.
Synopsis: Poor old Mr Pry gets hired by a big dumb company to create glucose from the atoms in the air. (Substitute the brief you were just handed.) Weirdly, he actually does it. (This, as you know, is when things start to go wrong.)
Format: Book
Motivation: Improves creativity by osmosis
Keywords: Literature, Design
Chronicles of Never A/W and S/S sample and end of season sale
What:
Chronicles of Never sale
Where:
The Carlton, 193 Bourke St, Melbourne
When:
Thurs Mar 19, 2-7pm, Fri Mar 20, 2-7pm, Sat Mar 21, 12-5pm
How much:
Up to 50% off. Cash only!
I love the idea of unisex clothing. It makes sharing wardrobes easy and there's such a great novelty aspect to men in fem clothing and vica versa. Its a bloody hard thing to get right though. I've tried and if I could just throw on any guys shirt and have it instantly transform me into a new era Patti Smith (the image I'm going for in my mind) I would be dressing like this ALL THE TIME, usually it just looks plain wrong.
Chronicles of Never is a unisex label that actually does what is says on the, er, label. The whole deal is based on NeverLand (where I do dress like Patti Smith) and architecture and geometry - think asymmetric cuts and draping fabrics. The latest collection 'Black Noise, White Rain' not only sounds like a lost Velvet Underground LP it looks like one - black, white and cool all over.
Since we're all dressin' for recessin' CoN are having a timely end of season/sample sale. Thats up to 50% off a new streamlined wardrobe accessories included) with something for the fella's and the ladies. He can be Lou and we can be Patti. At the end of the day everybody wins.
Product: Fashion
Theft: Theft is likely
Keywords: The Carlton Hotel, Unisex, Fashion
Third Drawer Down Archive Sale
What:
Third Drawer Down Archive Sale
Where:
93 George St, Fitzroy
When:
One day only! Sat Mar 21, 10am-6pm
Win:
Abi says: "We could do a give away on the day to the 3 folk who have turned a tea towel into some kind of object. First prize is a special bag of things which are way out of circulation and free archive tea towels for runners up." If you crazy kids know what she means, DO IT! How awesome.
Art doesn't have to be all highbrow and expensive. That's the central philosophy behind Third Drawer Down. They believe that art can happen pretty much anywhere. It could be happening right now. Whoa! Is it happening right now? Weird...
Still, you get the idea. Art comes in all shapes, sizes and price ranges. It could be some tricked-out sneakers, hijacked street signs or a weekly email newsletter about stuff. It could even be a line of limited edition tea towels sold via the Third Drawer Down art space / retail outlet.
Okay, here's the deal. The guys design and print a range of tea towels featuring funny / artsy / design stuff. The print run is limited to 1000 a pop. Although they usually sell out, some of them inevitably get lost in storage, or misplaced, or not sold or whatever.
The guys have brought together all these rogue tea towels for a one day sale. No more stalking eBay for absorbent Shrigley. This is the collection-completing / tea towel selling / affordable art working buying event of the year.
Product: Art
Theft: Theft is inevitable: Buy two
Keywords: Fitzroy, Third Drawer Down, Art
P.A.M. presents PAMBOOKS
What:
P.A.M. presents PAMBOOKS exhibition featuring Bea Nettles, Joseph Szabo, Ed Templeton, Peter Sutherland
Where:
Metropolis and Someday, Lvl 3, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Until Mar 31
Image:
Coming Home by Peter Sutherland (USA)
Related links:
Nangs
What is a PAMBOOK? I was stumped. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to bump into a wise man who, on a break from setting up the exhibition upstairs, was pondering a dumpling menu on the street and who had clearly pondered the PAMBOOKS with equal or greater intensity.
"It's like a crazy friend with a bunch of wise backyards in a really punk professor, with an amazing lecture playing." He told me.
"What?" I looked at him quizzically, "Like a zine?"
"No."
"A book then?"
"No, not that either."
He paused but I wasn't sure if he had just decided what to order or if he had something else to say. "Listen," he continued, "you came to me looking for answers and I've given you more questions. In doing this I've shown you part of the secret of the PAMBOOK. The more you hold them, the more you will learn to let go. And with any luck, you'll begin to realise that sometimes the lighter something is, the more gravity it can contain."
"Kind of like a nang?"
"Yes, kind of like a nang."
Medium: Photography
Drink: Herbal tea
Keywords: City, Art, Launch, Photography
Coburg Drive-In
What:
Coburg Drive-In
Where:
155 Newlands Rd, Coburg (Melways 17, J17)
How much:
13 schmackos
Image:
By Chris Keating
There's a town not far from here. Its name is Coburg. Coburg is full of magical things. Such as this. And this. They've got a premium train station. That's pretty cool also.
But by far the most magical is the Coburg Drive-In. I know you thought they didn't exist anymore, but they do! You pay $13 each and nothing for the person in the boot. (Note: if you intend to sit in the boot to watch the movie, your boot passenger will have stolen all the cushions like a smart arse so make sure you get the money off her first.)
It's been open since the '60s, and it's got one of those authentic diners in the middle. All you do is park your car, put an arm around your spouse, and adjust your cup holders until the movie plays. You can order popcorn, burgers, choc-tops and colas via text message. The sound plays over your radio or you can use one of those speakers that hook inside your car.
Definitely go to see Notorious, that new film about Biggy. It's playing at 10.45pm for a few weeks. Just get there really early. Otherwise you'll have to turn around and hang out in the ‘burg, which is not so magical after dark.
Ambience: Outdoor
Difficulty: Won't hurt a bit
Pasta! Lucy Folk exhibition launch
What:
Pasta! Lucy Folk exhibition launch
Where:
Alice Euphemia, Shop 6, Cathedral Arcade, 37 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
TONIGHT! Thurs Mar 19, 6-8pm
Exhibition runs until mid-April
How much:
Enty free!
Description:
The bastard child of the Food & Wine Festival and the Fashion Festival is born! It's an exhibition of beautiful pasta-shaped jewellery from cult label Lucy Folk. Lucy's current range is all about penne, rigatoni - all kinds of pasta with holes in it in fact - threaded on a string. And made of silver. Imagine how many festival programs Lucy could be in if you had to pick the jewellery out of the ground and then you won fashions on the field! - Us
Event: Launch
Stimulus: Be the next Princess Mary
Keywords: Lucy Folk, Jewellery, Alice Euphemia
Richie 1250 and the Brides of Christ residency!
What:
Richie 1250 and the Brides of Christ residency! Tonight with Tim ‘Hot Little Hands' Harvey + The Sleepless Nights
Where:
Yah Yah's, 99 Smith St, Fitzroy
When:
Thursdays in March. That's TONIGHT! And next week. Bands on from 8.30pm.
How much:
Free!
Description:
"Hey Richie, here's my number, do you know how to spell my name?" "Aah don know yur fuckin name." Everyone on Smith Street has finally realised that Richie 1250 is not stoned, he just talks that way. And moreover, that he is a genuine star the likes of which Collingwood is proud to bill on its oversized outdoor blackboards. 'RICHIE 1250 and the Brides of Christ!' shouts the Birmingham. 'RICHIE 1250 AND THE BRIDES OF CHRIST RESIDENCY... EAT THAT!!' counters Yah Yah's. Or something like that. Anyway, Richie's already two weeks into his residency and he don't care either way. He continues to run on the spot, flailing and pirouetting in the face of science and sanity. - PM
Event: Bands
Stimulus: Chaos
Keywords: Hot Little Hands, Fitzroy, Yah Yah's
Ronan got his Prada shoes back celebration
What:
Ronan got his Prada shoes back celebration
Where:
The Alderman, 134 Lygon St, Brunswick
When:
Thur Mar 19, 7.30pm
How much:
How much are you going to drink?
Description:
Remember a while back when Ronan lost his Prada shoes the day he bought them? We know, you're still saying, how does Ronan even have Prada shoes? We don't know either, but Splurgy McSplurgeson finally tracked them down. And it wasn't from the guy who posted all those ‘For Sale: Prada Shoes' signs above all of Ronan's ‘Lost: Prada Shoes' signs. Although that guy was pretty funny. Anyways, there is a celebration of the occasion at the very place they were stolen from, and you're invited. No stealing. - PC
Event: Party
Stimulus: Life
Keywords: Brunswick
Shake Some Action back one night only! Featuring Clack Train.
What:
Shake Some Action back one night only! Featuring Clack Train.
Where:
onesixone, 161 High St, Prahran
When:
TONIGHT! Thurs Mar 19, doors 9pm
How much:
Entry $6, pots $3 all night
Description:
It's a Shake Some Action reunion! Hugh says it will be all the same original DJs, drink deals, photography, everything! (Don't bother going if you were born after 1990, people have had it with you little punks already, start your own party.) Our question: will it be the same original 'banned from onesixone for pulling bits of the ceiling off even though Jordan Redaelli was doing it as well and didn't get in trouble' list? Well just f*%# that. - Us.
Event: Bands & DJs
Stimulus: Nostalgia
Keywords: Shake Some Action, onesixone, Streetparty
'We Can Make It If We Stick Together' exhibition opening, works by Craig Dermody
What:
We Can Make It If We Stick Together exhibition opening,
works by Craig Dermody
Where:
Fannyz, 174 - 180 Chapel St, Windsor
When:
Fri Mar 20, 6-9pm
How much:
Free! (To get in and drinks!)
Description:
Craig Dermody might be best known as a member of fuzzy rock groups Spider Vomit, Lindsey Low Hand and Scott and Charlene's Wedding, but he's also a visual artist, with new works on show from Friday at Fannyz. Working directly on readymade material sourced from op-shops, Dermody brings something of his groups' transformative, grunge-tinted otherworldliness to his art - detourning kitschy paintings and prints with monsters, flying witches, ghosts and other uncanny, sometimes psychedelic dabs. Darren Sylvester performs at the opening, which is also juiced by Canadian Club and Midori sponsorship. - Us
Event: Exhibition
Stimulus: A
Keywords: Windsor, Spider Vomit, Craig Dermody
Adidas - 60 Years of Soles & Stripes
What:
Adidas - 60 Years of Soles & Stripes
Where:
3/576 Chapel St, South Yarra
When:
Fri Mar 20, 5-9pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
We Australians have a unique relationship with Adidas as we all got bullied by a grade 6 guy wearing three-stripe trackies whose dad could easily punch our dad out in one second if he wanted. Well, now is the time to celebrate because Adidas is turning 60, and they're having a party on Chapel Street. It's BYO, there's a limited-edition silver jacket charity auction and they're paying that guy to do a live graffiti demonstration. And your dad said he would never amount to anything! Bloody Hell, his brother with the lowered Torana is probably Gavin McInnes by now. - PM
Event: Park
Stimulus: Do-rags and baggy get ups
Keywords: Adidas, South Yarra
Oliver Mann
What:
Oliver Mann
Where:
Thornbury Theatre, 859 High St, Thornbury
When:
Fri Mar 20, doors 8pm
How much:
$12 +BF here or $16 on the door (if available)
Win:
We have 2 dbls to giveaway! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line 'don't get the fat bitch started'
Description:
How much do we love a good pastiche. Jesus, just think of a world minus Kung Pow! Enter the Fist... or Piranesi's neoclassical beauties... or you know, er, Wacko Jacko's face. A world where the words 'dancing round and round the room in pantyhose' wouldn't be sung in an operatic baritone warble to folksy accordian/ harmonica / xylophone /Shakespearean organ music. Lucky for us the gods of mix n' match have smiled down at our kid Oliver Mann, whose melodies makes us want to bust out solo waltz moves around crowded public areas wearing silver tights and two left feet. - ST
Event: Bands
Stimulus: W
Punks Jump Up!
What:
Punks Jump Up!
Where:
La Di Da, 557 Little Bourke St, Melbourne
When:
Fri Mar 20, doors 10pm
How much:
$15 +BF here
Win:
We have a dbl pass to give away. To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line ‘everyone at the club is sweating on me'
Description:
Punks Jump Up are powerhouses of dance music. Not that cheesy dance music, however; rather, that sweating and grinding with everyone at the club dance music. These two guys have remixed for Lykke Li, The Gossip, and Lo Fi Fnk. On top of that, they have been featured on Kitsune Maison Vol. 4 and have a career producing their own great dance music. Now they are in Melbourne and are ready to make sure you go straight insane on the dancefloor and leave you wishing they were here every weekend. - PC
Event: Bands & DJs
Stimulus: E
Stop, Drop and Roll magazine launch party. Performances by Sly Hats and Jessica Says, The Rise & Demise and The Wildes!
What:
Stop, Drop and Roll magazine launch party. Performances by Sly Hats and Jessica Says, The Rise & Demise and The Wildes!
Where:
Yah Yah's, 99 Smith St, Fitzroy
When:
Fri Mar 20, doors 8.30pm
How much:
$10 on the door, $17 with a copy of Stop, Drop and Roll Issue One
Description:
So Sean Wilson and Liz Seymour were going through their finances last week and guess what? They don't have any. That's because they started a magazine. And it's really good so you better bloody well buy a copy at the launch, you ungrateful Gen Y 'internet surfers'. You know who you are. No, I'm not going to 'IM' you about it, Jesus. Stop, Drop and Roll issue one, designed by Marilyn&Sons, features an interview with Gianni Russo, Martin McKenzie-Murray's description of the eve of Mr O's inauguration and profiles on Jackson Eaton and Benedict Moleta. Power to the print! - PM
Event: Launch
Stimulus: sound the horns!
Paroxysm Press book launch
What:
Paroxysm Press book launch
Where:
Collected Works Bookshop, Lvl 1, Nicholas Building, 37 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Sat Mar 21, beer at 2pm, readings at 3pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
It's pretty funny when punks get all organised and publish a book then sell out of it and arrange a re-launch event at a poetry shop, with refreshments. 'What happened to Anarchy?' 'Well, actually, we have an article about that. It's on page 14. Or email Shaun about it, he's in the office Tuesdays.' Hehe. No, these guys are the real deal. Paroxysm Press, they're called. And they're re-launching the sold-out, out-of-print first novel by an author called Kami, Sucked, Fucked and Tattooed, first published in 2001. This time it comes packaged with the author's second work Bunk Beds & Chilli Vodka. Punks: getting shit done since 1970. - PM
Event: Launch
Stimulus: Nostalgia
Keywords: Literature, Books, Punk
James Cameron MASSIVE SALE!
What:
James Cameron MASSIVE SALE!
Where:
Lvl 6, Curtin House, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne (right next to our office)
When:
Mon March 23 - Sun April 4. Mon-Thurs 10am-6pm, Fri 10am-8pm, Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12-5pm
How much:
Oh, don't even ask, you'll wee your pants and have to buy new ones. Luckily, you'll be at the sale.
Description:
If it weren't for James Cameron's best-of-modernism-reborn-as-menswear, our eyes would have had to put up with a lot more of this over the years. James is like the angel of fashion mercy for Melbourne's males and for the people who are forced to look at them. With his chill and friendly approach, he helps not only the innately stylish, but also the meat-head suits. Okay pay attention, James is having an unbelievable sale right next to our office in Curtin House, starting Monday. We're talking new range, past season, samples. Suits, bags, shirts, shoes. Does your southside boner boyfriend look like the guy from Aussie Homeloans? No more excuses sister. Does your hipster brother keep spending your weed money at Zambesi? Put a stop to it right here man. We're all in this together. - PM
Event: Sales
Stimulus: Clothing
Keywords: Sale, James Cameron, Fashion
Fashion Speak... 2020 Style!
What:
Fashion Speak... 2020 Style!
Where:
Salon 205, Room 5, Level 2 37 Swanston St (Upstairs from AliceEuphemia)
When:
Wed Mar 25, 6-8pm
How much:
Free, but rsvp for a spot.
Description:
You have opinions, and frankly, most of the time no-one wants to hear them. But this week, Alice Euphemia is opening ears and doors to let you have your soapbox. They have programmed a chat with industry experts about the social and environmental improvements that can be made in the badass world of fashion. And they need your help thinking up questions. Click here to do a survey about your goddam opinions and you'll go into the draw to win a $150 voucher. Don't forget to rsvp if you want to go to the experts night. - PC
Event: Talk
Stimulus: Fame
Keywords: Fashion, Alice Euphemia
McKisco album launch with Seagull and Otouto
What:
McKisco album launch with Seagull and Otouto
Where:
Northcote Social Club, 301 High St, Northcote
When:
Wed Mar 25, doors 7.30pm
How much:
$10 on the door
Win:
We have 2 dbl passes and 2 albums (one for each dbl winner) to give away! To enter email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line ‘peach, plum, pears all taste like burning'
Description:
Have you ever just thought to yourself, "I really dig Joanna Newsome, but her voice sounds like Ralph Wiggum too much to listen to for ages."? Me too, which is why listening to McKisco is such a pleasure, it's like Joanna Newsome without the annoying voice, and nowadays, without the influence of Jim O'Rouke. McKisco is Helen Franzmann from Queensland and she's down in Melbourne town for her album launch alongside friends Seagull and Otouto. - PC
Event: Bands
Stimulus: W
Keywords: McKisco, Music, Northcote, Northcote Social Club
Primitive Calculators with Breaker Morant and Capiche Mode
What:
Primitive Calculators with Breaker Morant and Capiche Mode
Where:
St Jeromes, Caledonian La, Melbourne (but not for much longer!)
When:
Wed Mar 25, 8pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
Operative for only a few years in the late '70s / early '80s first time around, Melbourne synth-punk legends, Primitive Calculators, are back and as coruscating as ever. Reforming for a guest appearance at last year's ATP Mt Buller festival, the group has since gone on to play Chapter Music's 18th birthday party and a backyard gig in Northcote - losing none of their original, anti-bullshit volume and experimental scree. This week they play again at closing drunk-tank institution, St Jeromes, backed up by new agitators, Breaker Morant, for free. Get down for some sense-punishing DIY-forever dance entertainment. - Us.
Event: Bands
Stimulus: C
Keywords: Music, St Jeromes, City
The way fashionable people go on about accessories it's like you have to know the Masonic handshake to get it right. 'One must always accessorise,' they say, 'but not over-accessorise.' Then they spin around twice and raise the pennant. Although, that's probably the wrong metaphor to use because if anyone goes overboard on the bling it's the Masons. Anyway, we avoid all this confusion by sticking with Matt Weston. Matt's jewellery doesn't prescribe to 'dos' and 'don'ts' - he's straight up. The lad designs under his own name and refuses to over embellish.
For his latest collection, AW09, Matt's taken every day tinkery things: clasps, trinkets and coins, and reworked them into pieces that are something of a mint. Neither sexist nor ageist, the antique-meets-arty pieces won't discriminate between you, your brother, your mother and your grandpa (okay maybe against your grandpa, unless he's a silver fox). We have one necklace, pictured, to give away. To enter, just answer the following question...
This week's question:
Matt Weston is
a) solving my bling problems
b) furnishing character references to the Grange Lodge, depending on jurisdiction. Now tell him the handshake.
c) an everyday tinker
d) your grandpa.
To be in the running send your answer AND postal address to win@threethousand.com.au, winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry. Not a subscriber? No sweat. Sign up here.
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