Wednesday 25th June
Lucky you got new lenses, plastic man at the Lost + Found market, because otherwise you wouldn't see this unrecognisable pop, these joyfully detailed explosions, the decades of filth covering your nubile limbs, the goldfish in that tv, the sign that's reminding you 1000BC was 3000 years ago.
ThreeThousand 161 - look close, plastic man
Also on the site right now:
Telepathe play the TIT
Sneaker Freaker launch for 'Blaze of Glory'
Cover image by Kate Mosh. If you would like to submit a covershot, that would be rad. Email photo@threethousand.com.au.
My Mistress's Sparrow is Dead
What:
My Mistress's Sparrow is Dead: Great Love Stories, from Chekov to Munro
Who:
Edited by Jeffrey Eugenides
Where:
Metropolis Books, Lvl 3 Curtin House, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne
How much:
RRP $29.99
Jeffrey Eugenides knows about love. Dave Eggers, the 'Bono of lit', knew that Jeffrey knew about love, and asked him to compile a book of love stories. In 25 parts, My Mistress's Sparrow is Dead charts that many-splendoured thing from its first flush to its final denouement, from 'voyeuristic longing to disenchanted entanglement'. Protagonists smoke and screw and sneak around. They fall in love with people they should and people they shouldn't. They polish the hard nut of their discontent against numberless dusks and tend to the smarting fires of their unrequited lust.
William Trevors' lovers play out their affair in an abandoned hotel bathroom because they have nowhere else to go. Guy de Maupassant's six-tentacled menage unfolds in a rowboat on the River Seine. Vladimir Nabokov's lovely Nina recurs like an idee fixe in the narrator's life, her body perpetually folded in the shape of a Z, a perpetual cigarette at her lovely mouth. There are tales where love, or the moment of attainment anyway, changes the very fabric of the atmosphere, the elementary particles of the night sky falling into heady new constellations.
The longest stories are like whole lives in reduction; the shortest like precise incisions. This is love in all its lucent, spraddled, finger-sniffing splendour. And it's wonderful.
Format: Book
Motivation: Good with a whiskey in the bath
Keywords: Love
Dream Island Laughing Language, Lucky Dragons
What:
Dream Island Laughing Language
Who:
Lucky Dragons
On:
Mistletone
Where:
Mistletone Shop / Missing Link
When:
Album out now. Australian tour in October
Related links:
MySpace / Lucky Dragons YouTube Channel
The nanotechnological dream of photosynthesizing computers appears within reach when listening to Lucky Dragons. While the Macs employed by the LA duo are probably the regular kind - plastic, circuits, software - the weird and near-total naturalism of their sound on umpteenth release, Dream Island Laughing Language, begs the question - are they not living things, inlaid with grass, coconut husk or animal skin? While everything here is excessively treated, chopped and processed, somehow it comes across as Natural History - ethnomusicological and live, suntanned and relaxed - like a bunch of geckos and undiscovered aboriginal life jamming together on some Tron-island beach.
Twenty-two tracks fly-by on the wind, light and sunny, but as complicated in detail as any rainforest walk. Players Luke Fischbeck and Sarah Rara push seemingly unlimited sound sources through the digital glass - tabla, shakers, wind-chimes, recorders - yet never unnecessarily pile up the layers. Tracks are short patterns that typically drop away once formed, with nothing overly laboured or 'meaningful' in a pop sense. But this is pop as regularly issued by Mistletone; unrecognisable, alien and joyful. Our closest touchpoint might be Black Dice circa Creature Comforts, or locals Snawklor, but even then we're still a way off.
Release: Album
To Cure: Hypertension
Keywords: Mistletone Records
Reel Anime
What:
Reel Anime
When:
July 3 - 16
Where:
Kino Dendy
Win:
To whet your appetite, we have an DVD pack of Appleseed, Laptua, and Death Note Vol 1 to give away from the good people at Madman. To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'pesky verisimilitude'
The onslaught of anime in the '90s brought us tentacle sex, exploding heads, ninjas drowning in molten gold and psychic children who might be god. There's been so much of it since that it's easy to ignore, so Reel Anime 2008 is throwing four new titles up on the big screen to catch your eye.
Like Appleseed Ex Machina, the latest instalment of the Masamune Shirow's post-WWIII Appleseed epic. Too boysy? Just listening to the J-Pop theme of The Girl Who Leapt Through Time will make you feel like a Japanese schoolgirl.
Most nerd-anticipated is Batman: Gotham Knight. A collaboration between comic writers and anime directors, using the animated form to play with the visually ridiculous elements of Batman's world without compromising the pesky verisimilitude of the live action sequel.
The guiltiest pleasure is definitely Vexille. This cyborg boom-flick uses shiny CGI, but keeps thick black outlines for a comic-art feel. The humans don't have much character, but their battlesuits sure do, and the explosions are rendered in such joyful detail that somewhere, Michael Bay just broke out in an envious sweat.
Format: Festival
Mood: Whimsical
Keywords: Anime
Dr Bronner's Magic Soaps
What:
Dr Bronner's Magic Soaps
Where:
No longer just the bodegas of NYC, but also here
How much:
AUD $14 for 16 oz bottle
Related links:
There's a film, Dr Bronner's Magic Soapbox. "A complex portrait of a man who cares more for humanity than for his own children." - New York Times
Emanuel H. Bronner might have been mad as a brush, but he were surely clean. "Enjoy only two cosmetics, enough sleep and Dr Bronner's Magic Soap to clean mind-body-spirit instantly uniting One! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! For facial packs, scalp and soothing body scrub, add dash on bath towel in sink of hot water." Never have philosophy and bathroom instructions been so poetically blended.
Reading Dr Bronner's over-hyphenated religious tracts on a soap bottle in your shower is a very good way to start the day. Unlike regular faith-addled madmen, Bronner did something other than establish a money-sucking infrastructure with the assistance of a gospel choir. He invented the world's best soap. It is so much better than other soaps that you feel like you're emerging from decades of filth into the light of fizzy freshness.
Just as the Conquistadors brought civilsation to the Americas, American Apparel have brought us Dr Bronner's Magic Soap. Spreading, in the process, their Godly belief that the hottest people reject make-up in favour of pre-pubescent skin and cotton underpants.
Product: Accessories
Theft: Theft is inevitable: Buy two
Keywords: Soap, Skincare, American Apparel
Fabian's Maps
What:
Fabian's Maps
Where:
309 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Mon-Fri 12pm-4pm (but not always)
Contact:
9663 3302
Fabian invited me into his office, pulled a chair into the middle of the room and warned me it was a piece from the 1860s. Careful not to snap a chair leg, I sat myself down and waited while he filled out a cheque for an overdue bill. After five minutes of scribbling, he looked up at me through his thick lenses and prompted my conversation.
The former accountant ventured into trading antique furniture. But when he started collecting bookshelves he realised the shelves looked sadly bare without books. Now, filled with leather-bound poetry and Cricketers' Almanacs spanning nearly a century, the bookshelves stand resplendently in his office. And, despite the empty room behind the cluttered window display of lamps, Biggles books and map prints of Greece circa 1000BC, Fabian's deep knowledge of history and antiques had me following him around his different rooms, wide-eyed and dizzy with excitement.
The space hasn't changed much since he started trading in 1978. And this has only spurred people's curiosity about the old man who sticks up handwritten signs in his window. While Fabian is the keeper of this peculiar museum, chances are he'll tell you he's "really quite busy" until you prove yourself something other than irritating. Then he'll show off his collection of six-generation Royal Doulton china.
Product: Objects
Anatomy: Brain
d.v.d at Aphids Reel Music Festival
Comprised of two human drummers and a visual artist, d.v.d piece together live animations triggered by the musicians' drumming. They push music/gaming boundaries by reworking the ‘80s arcade classic, ‘Pong' (You all know, Pong, yeh?) with their own unique tribute. These guys are just one of the groups performing at the Aphids Reel Music Festival - four nights of live performances combining music with the moving image.
If only Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar were next to me right now, I'm sure they'd be screaming, "exsallent". They are the dudes from Wayne's World.
Win:
Thanks to Aphids, We have four double passes to give away. To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with subject line ‘Pong? Exsallent'
Medium: Performance
Drink: Double espresso
The Richmond Farmers Market
What:
The Richmond Farmers Market
Where:
Gleadell Street, Richmond
Behind the Richmond Town Hall (kinda)
When:
Saturday mornings till about 12.30
White people like Farmers Markets, and if the Richmond version is anything to go by so do people of other races as well. Shopping there on Saturday morning makes you feel like an extra in a United Colours of Benetton ad... one where people walk harmoniously down a narrow lane, squeezing fresh produce and forking out ridiculously small amounts of money for sustainable and organic goodness.
The reality is that these markets make the Vic Market look extortionate. Your fridge won't be able to cope with your new spending power. If you want cheese, breads, bum bags, curios and like listening to South American gypsy music then Viccy Market is definitely still the go. The only music down in Richmond is the sweet wit of the stall owners. Quote of the day "Those cost $5 each at a supermarket and you are asking me for a discount on $1.50?"
Viva the Market Economy
Ambience: Outdoor
Difficulty: Exertion will pay off
Laundry Mat #3
What:
Laundry Mat #3 - My Beautiful Laundrette
Where:
151-153 Brunswick St, Fitzroy
How much:
$1.80 per wash
My Beautiful Laundrette? That's a bit optimistic. ‘My rundown student share-house with some washing machines' is a bit closer to the mark. Not as catchy, mind.
Anyway, you know you're in Fitzroy when retro televisions with aquariums inside start popping up. There was one lone goldfish drifting aimlessly in the murky water last Saturday. It's probably dead by now. Keeping a goldfish in a laundry mat is just asking for murderous trouble.
If a half-dead fish swimming inside a TV isn't ‘Fitzroy' enough for you, the proprietors have also provided some tasteless, aquatic themed murals to complete the look. The furniture, meanwhile, looks like it was scavenged from a roadside collection - a jumbled selection of pink tables and mismatched couches.
Despite this share-house vibe, the machines themselves seem to be in reasonable condition and the price is crazy cheap. You could probably use the money you save on laundry buying new goldfish for the tank. Or some Wizz Fizz to dump in a baggy and leave lying around...
Ambience: Indoor
Difficulty: Won't hurt a bit
Keywords: Fitzroy
The Bratwurst Shop
What:
The Bratwurst Shop
Where:
Shop 99, Deli Section, Queen Vic Market
When:
Tues 6am-2pm, Thurs 6am-2pm, Fri 6am-5pm, Sat 6am-3pm, Sun 9am-4pm
How much:
Cost about $3.90, cheese and onion $0.50 each
The most exciting part of the Vic Market is easily the deli section. Before starting your weekly shop you have the opportunity to make a nuisance out of yourself, mooching around, trying as many cheeses, olives, cold meats, pickled goodies, and wines as you can without spending a penny. It's great.
Now, a word of warning; don't get too carried away. A morsel of Delice Du Calvados, a slice of preserved salmon, and a few garlic and chilli olives are really more than enough to get you started. From here head towards the Elizabeth and Victoria Streets entrance, and you will find a large crowd huddled around the tiny, Melbourne Bratwurst Shop.
Pay attention. Firstly pick a sausage: the mild bratwurst, the spicy bratwurst, or the weisswurst. Then add sauce and say a loud, clear ‘yes' to grated cheese, fried onion, and a monstrous serving of sauerkraut. Then sit opposite McDonalds in silence with your friends, only occasionally exchanging satisfied grunts and glare at the poor suckers eating fast food mere metres away from such magical Saxon goodness. Then do your shopping and see if you can fit a second in afterwards.
Venue: Eatery
Meal: Lunch
Keywords: Market
Fat Birthday Sale
What:
Fat Birthday Sale
Where:
222 Smith St, Collingwood
When:
Thurs June 26 - Thurs July 11
Mon-Fri 9.30am-5pm, Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12-5pm
How much:
Oh the bargains, how they will blow your mink. CASH ONLY.
Description:
Fat are taking all the stuff you've been eyeing off for six months and dumping it in Collingwood, where bargain means bargain (except at that new Smith Street Bazaar place, where bargain means $300 for an old lamp). Their two week sale at 222 Smith Street includes Alpha60, Antipodium, Cheap Monday, P.A.M., Rittenhouse, George Terrific, Rainer, Thousand Reasons - the lot. Be quick, because two weeks is a long time, but two days is as long as the real bargain hunters take. - PM
Event: Sales
Stimulus: sound the horns!
Keywords: Collingwood, Fat Clothing Stores
'Helbourne' launch
What:
Helbourne launch
Where:
McCulloch Gallery, 8 Rankins La, Melbourne
When:
Launching Fri June 27, 6-8pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
Presented by artists David Gill, Dave Smith (formerly of Studio Anybody) and writer Brett Hamm (does anyone remember the awesome Karaoke Night at the Dead Celebrity? If you don't, write to us and we'll tell you), Helbourne is an exploded exhibition that tells the story of five lonely people in a big city. The artworks and writing are also, like the people, out in the big city - displaced in cafes, bars, boutiques, what-have-you. You, too, can be ‘thrust together by the unseen currents of coincidence'. Meet at McCulloch Gallery at 6pm this Friday to get a taste of the intrigue. - PM
Event: Exhibition
Stimulus: E
Keywords: McCulloch Gallery
Little Red instore
What:
Little Red instore
Where:
Polyester Records city store, 288 Flinders Lane, Melbourne
When:
Fri June 27, 6pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
There's no getting around it. Little Red are Big Red now. Bells and whistles, managers and riders, women and crack pipes. But we still love them so much that, every time we remember the time we were standing at the Exford corner of Little Bourke and we heard their sweet sounds drifting down from the Wintergarden room, we cry a little into our beers with joy. "Myyyy heart is true. I love ooonly you." They're about to go on an album launch tour but they're playing an instore at Polyster in the city this Friday. We will be there before you. They're ours. OURS! - PM
Event: Launch
Stimulus: E
Keywords: Little Red, Polyester Records
Witch Hats farewell show
What:
Witch Hats farewell show
Where:
Roxanne, Lvl 3, 2 Coverlid Pl, Melbourne
When:
Fri June 27, 9pm
How much:
$12
Description:
Happening at the fittingly dire Chinatown flophouse, Roxanne Parlour - down an alley, up in an elevator, above Charlton's late night poolhall - this gig bodes very well indeed, with Witch Hats fired up for performances alongside Kid Congo Powers of the Cramps and early Bad Seeds in the States. Tonight's line-up gives the Kid a run for his money, though - seriously - in the way of Collingwood's dark spazzdance duo, Pets with Pets, and promising up and comers, Breaker Morant. - LB
Event: Bands
Stimulus: C
Keywords: Roxanne
Yves Klein Blue / Major Major
What:
Yves Klein Blue / Major Major
Where:
Northcote Social Club, 301 High St, Northcote
When:
Fri June 27, doors 8.30pm
How much:
$10 +BF presale here, $12 on the door
Win:
We have a double pass to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line ‘the hipsters of Brisbane are better than me'
Description:
When our Brisbane correspondents read that we're plugging ‘this hot new indie band who have cool haricuts and get up to all those wacky antics indie bands do' they tend to feel somewhat wistful. The Brisbane trio have been marking their territory, one stage at a time, wooing many along the way. But joining musical forces with friends, The John Steel Singers, our friends up north can only be proud that there'll be ample reprezentin' in Northcote this Friday. Major Major will be playing, too. Though you may not recognise them; they might decide to dress up like Brisbane hipsters to fit in. - ID
Event: Bands
Stimulus: W
Keywords: Northcote Social Club
Scones, Jam and Jewels
What:
Scones, Jam and Jewels
Where:
Glitzern and Von Haus, 1a Crossley St, Melbourne
When:
Sat June 28, 2-4pm
How much:
Free (scones)!
Description:
A scone is a small quickbread made of wheat, barley or oatmeal, usually with baking powder as a leavening agent. This Saturday afternoon the brains behind Glitzern (Moi Rogers, who just returned from OS with a haul of one-off vintage items) and The Hotham Street Ladies will be serving scones with jam, cream, tea and jewels. You can peruse the new designer ranges, hang out in the normally man-food centric Von Haus and, if you choose to purchase some Glitzern treasure, get a generous discount with your dollop of cream. - ID
Event: Sales
Stimulus: C
Keywords: Glitzern, Accessories, Cakes
Sweet Jelly Roll
What:
Sweet Jelly Roll
Where:
Public Bar, 238 Victoria St, North Melbourne
When:
Sat June 28, doors 9pm
How much:
$10
Description:
In the ‘50s, kids used vocalisation to get their kicks when they ran out of coin for real instruments. This is when doo-wop emerged with songs like ‘Get a Job' by The Silhouettes or ‘Golden Teardrops' by The Flamingos. For a history lesson that will whip Air Supply's Best Of's asses, button your shirts, comb your locks and link arms with a lady for Sweet Jelly Roll, a night of Memphis in Melbourne. DJs include Electric Mudcat and residents Razor Totin' Slim and Pearl Jackson. Live street fight blues from The Snowdroppers (Syd) and showgirl hosting from Sarah Lea Cheesecake. Dress the f*ck up. - ID
Event: Party
Stimulus: W
Pikelet and Laura Jean
What:
Pikelet and Laura Jean
Where:
Manchester Lane, Manchester Lane, Melbourne
When:
Sun June 29, doors 7pm
How much:
$10 +BF / $12 +BF presale here, $12/$15 on the door
Win:
We have a double pass to give away. To enter email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line ‘Pikelet won't be flipping it for just anyone'. We'll send the winner a password that Evelyn made up so you can get in on the doorlist.
Description:
When you find out your song will be played during a sex scene of gangsta series, Underbelly, you'd probably consider greatest feat met, hang up your instrument and call it a day. But Evelyn Morris is one high achiever in this city and ain't giving up for some time. This Sunday, her one-woman band, Pikelet, plays at Manchester Lane with the support of Laura Jean and Tassie's Peter Escott. We're looking forward to that song having the similar aphrodisiac effect of a thick bass line in Boogie Nights. - ID
Event: Bands
Stimulus: A
Keywords: Pikelet
Sam Sparro
What:
Sam Sparro
Where:
Miss Libertine, 34 Franklin St, Melbourne
When:
TWO WEEKS AWAY, Fri July 11, doors 9pm
How much:
Selling out at $27 +BF here
Win:
Thanks to Good Vibrations Festival, we have two albums and two 12"s to give away. To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line ‘The Guardian does, indeed, have good columnists'
Description:
The Guardian says that Sam Sparro is "a turbo-charged amalgamation of Daft Punk, Kraftwerk, The Gossip, Earth, Wind & Fire and Stevie Wonder". And who doesn't believe The Guardian? Christ, Malcolm Gladwell writes for their Metro section, and not even on a Saturday you know? Just, like on a Tuesday! Back to Sparro. He's on a whirlwind promo tour courtesy of the good folk at Good Vibrations Festival, and this is our first chance to see him with his full band. Sure, he's taking America and Europe by storm, but don't let that put you off, this will be a chance to get wild in a way that sweaty old helmet heads Daft Punk aren't even capable of. - PM
Event: Bands
Stimulus: E
Keywords: Miss Libertine
Alexi Freeman makes sultry clothes for sultry brunettes and redheads (and, alright, blondes can wear them too). He has just released his SS 08/09 collection which is all about looking like you're at the Chateau Marmont on the first steamy day of the year and someone has delivered your ‘summer' wardrobe that morning so you try everything on to make Lindsey Lohan jealous but she thinks you've inherited it all from your film star mother, which makes her even madder than usual.
However, being that it's colder here right now than the steely gaze of Sandra Sully on a Monday night, Alexi has given us a top from his winter range to give away. It's still sultry, but in black, with a glamorous divorcee gold foil print. To be in the running, just answer the following question...
This week's question:
The Chateau Marmont is
a) right next door to the Castle Greyskull
b) at 8221 Sunset Boulevard
c) modeled after the Château d'Amboise in France's Loire Valley
d) holding my summer wardrobe until I arrive
Send your answer, size (S, M, L) and mailing address to win@threethousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber-only entry. Not a subscriber? No sweat. Sign up here.
Win heads unite! A few weeks back we gave away a shiny new Samsung MX camcorder. You can still be in it to win it, click here for fun.
ThreeThousand is a weekly snapshot of Melbourne's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we like to call creativity. Without editorial independence ThreeThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.
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ThreeThousand is a trusted and proven medium for advertisers to engage with Melbourne's most elusive individuals - our subscribers. Each issue offers one advertiser the opportunity to have sole presence in the e-newsletter. A variety of placements (three, to be exact) are also available on threethousand.com.au. For more information on advertising with ThreeThousand contact Francesco at frunch@rightanglepublishing.com and Robbie at robert@rightanglepublishing.com.
Feedback:
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Disclaimer:
The information in ThreeThousand is subject to change. Although we attempt to ensure that the content at the time of publication is correct, we do not guarantee its accuracy or currency. Right Angle Publishing accepts no responsibility to you or anyone else arising from any use or reliance on the information contained in ThreeThousand or any inaccuracy in the information. The views and opinions expressed on material included in ThreeThousand may not reflect those of Right Angle Publishing.
Contact:
Right Angle Publishing
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Melbourne, 3000
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Group Publisher:
Barrie Barton
barrie@rightanglepublishing.com
Editor:
Penny Modra
penny@threethousand.com.au
Associate Editor:
Isabel Dunstan
isabel@threethousand.com.au
Editorial Assistant
Sophie Gaston
sophie@threethousand.com.au
Film Editor:
Martyn Pedler
martyn@threethousand.com.au
Music Editor:
Mark Gomes
mark@threethousand.com.au
READ Editor:
Kirsten Law
kirsten@rightanglepublishing.com
Design Monkeys:
tin&ed
Image and Web Monkey:
Remi Carette
Taran Hubbert
STREET Pics Monkeys:
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Contributing Monkeys:
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Barrie Barton
Kieran O'Shea
Kate Scott
Mikolai Napieralski
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Check out our 'Meet Me for a Drink' column in The Age EG liftout every Friday...
Meet Me For a Drink Monkeys:
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Matt Hurst
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