Wednesday 28th May
Scottie Cameron: Use this photo for the top photo thing, it's a man whale and amazing.
ThreeThousand: True. It makes us feel like nomatter how down and out we feel, about 2am lock outs, all that, we can still pull on a waterproof pantsuit and start droppin 5 cent pieces in a bucket until we collapse from exhaustion. You know, we can stick some rubbish in a fence for the sake of art, we can scare ourselves pee-less, buy some sturdy shoes, stand up for the good side, be real men.
Scottie Cameron: *backs away*
ThreeThousand 157 - wadin' for change
Cover image by Scottie Cameron. If you would like to submit a cover photo, email photo@threethousand.com.au.
Images by Tin&Ed at Siris Cosmic Discotec at Loop on Friday
Wowch
Little People
Printing your own money
Crafty Magazine
Grey stockings
Emergency jackets
Jeans jumping
Scarlet fever
To Do Tattoo
Steampunk
Tell us what's cool
cool@twothousand.com.au
Wowsers
Big people
Playing this cover
Krafty Kuts
Lederhosen flys
Emerhing artists
Double denim
Scarlet fever
These tattoos
Puffy Billy
Tell us what's fool
fool@twothousand.com.au
Air Guitar
What:
Air Guitar
Who:
Dave Hickey
Where:
Please ask at your favourite bookshop before you go here
When:
Do it now
How much:
Worth more than US $13.57
Related links:
Download a podcast here to experience the Hickey greatness aurally
Dave Hickey is the love child of Hunter S. Thompson, Lester Bangs, Giorgio Vasari, Anais Nin, Mark Twain, Hannah Arendt, Susan Sontag and, still skimping on his alimony, Lenny Bruce. To wit, he is: promiscuously inclusive, as humanly warm as pee-pee on denim, smarter than a dagger, as serious as your life and funnier than a muthafucka.
Subtitled ‘Essays on Art & Democracy', Air Guitar is like having an old, acid-dropping art professor - and Hickey is exactly that - drop by and just talk about stuff. All kinds of stuff. Like how Wild Style graffiti is part of an 300-year-old orientalist art tradition which includes psychedelic concert posters and the pre-Raphaelites. Basketball. Perry Mason. Siegfried and Roy. Flaubert. Keith Richards. Hot dogs.
Usually all at once and with a conviction that all these things really matter. The hot dogs as much as the pre-Raphaelites. So if ‘Art & Democracy' basically sums up the things in the world that Hickey digs on (i.e. everything) then it'll be in this book. His style is a kind of perfection - simultaneously as giddy as altitude sickness, as beautiful as the mountain itself, and as perilous as the highest fall.
Format: Book
Motivation: Improves creativity by osmosis
Other Channels
Through Delia Derbyshire and Dick Mills's work at the BBC Radiophonic Workshop in the '60s, JG Ballard's suburban sci-fi, Throbbing Gristle's camp industrial dream, Trunk Records, Broadcast's haunting pop and now Ghost Box's roster of artists runs something strange and quintessentially English. Part creepy, part childish, part occult in the sense of time-treasured knowledge, it's a funny-peculiar, mannered sense of things that eludes definition but is instantly felt. It's there in classic UK children's TV, too - think Chocky, The Tripods, Worzel Gummidge - that true psych-out atmosphere, born of shadows, spook-domestic and extremely potent.
Jon Brooks, aka The Advisory Circle, may do this better than anyone yet. His debut album - aptly titled Other Channels - is a masterpiece of what Heads have started calling 'Hauntology'; a lush, reanimated kind of music steeped in the history of recording and acidly evocative. Concrete sounds from Public Information radio and an endless palette of Foley-type movie sound effects are interwoven with Brooks's candy-strength melodies and arrangements for synth, wind and string instruments so seamlessly as to render recorded time ended, or forever, and uncanny. It's preternaturally good and tranquilising in both senses; like watching Dr Who after school and after drugs.
Release: Album
To Cure: A predictable playlist
The Orphanage
What:
The Orphanage
When:
Opens May 29
Where:
Cinema Nova
Dendy Kino
Watch the trailer:
Here
Win:
We have a double pass to give away! To enter email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line 'a pizza boy set up is the very least I ask'
Is there anything better than nervous laughter spreading slowly through a cinema? Old-fashioned Spanish ghost story The Orphanage possesses the entire spectrum of scares: sudden shocks, creeping dread, and the frantic urge to shout "No! Don't! Gah!" at the screen.
Lately, horror sometimes seems like the kind of pornography that's all sex-scenes and no awkward pizza-boy set-up. Films like The Grudge reduce the genre to just the boo! set-pieces, without the satisfying connective tissue. The Orphanage, however, almost feels like '60s classic The Haunting, and that's high praise.
This is a first feature for the writer and director - although it's presented by ThreeThousand's favourite gooey auteur Guillermo del Toro - and it's astonishingly tight. It's filled with the set-‘em-up, knock-‘em-down cause and effect of childhood puzzles, shaken and stirred with the peculiar logic of fairytales.
If a movie can have you both wanting and not-wanting at once to see what's behind the door, or around the corner, or waiting in the dark? You should see it at the movies, and wait for the nervous laughter.
Format: Cinema
Mood: Make a therapy appointment now
Keywords: Horror
Spring Court shoes
What:
Spring Court shoes
Where:
Fat stores
How much:
Mid-cut canvas $175
Low-cut canvas canvas $145
Mid-cut standard leather $200
Contact:
9662 3332 (GPO), 9486 0510 (Brunswick), 9510 2334 (Prahran), 9569 5200 (Chadstone)
"They're turning kids into slaves, just to make cheaper sneakers. What's the real cost cause the sneakers don't seem that much cheaper? Why are we paying so much money for sneakers when they're made by little slave kids?" ‘Think About It' - Flight of The Concords (1.26).
NO MORE must we a) support child slavery b) pay so much money for sneakers. Because we have Spring Court.
Originally made in France for tennis greats, Spring Courts are designed in the croissant country using tough natural rubber soles, lined leather and thick Indian cotton. They're double stitched, have arch support and a removable insole. This combats another sneaker-related trauma - sweaty feet. Those partial to a stint on a fixie will know that after a few trips, sneaker sides get scuffed, soles get cracked and feet stink. No no. SC's have eight ventilation channels.
These are kind of like speed holes for feet - keeping soles cool so you can ride extra fast. Without socks. Genius.
Product: Clothing
Theft: Theft is likely
Keywords: Shoes
Neverness, Part 1
What:
Neverness, Part 1
Where:
Right Angle Studios, Lvl 6, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
One night only, Fri May 30, 6-9pm
How much:
Free!
Image:
Detail from print by Thobias Fäldt
I trust you are familiar with NowNow, ThreeThousand's sophisticated, worldly cousin? You may have spotted him at a Right Angle family get together, propped against a windowsill sipping at a snifter of port, calmly snapping off the odd shot on his Contax while ThreeThousand gets wasted on fruit punch and plays charades with the kids.
Well, it's high time you discovered NowNow is not actually a theoretical person, but a very real, very busy project-based collective. On top of regularly updated features and strangely intriguing pictures of people's desktops, there is an impressive online gallery with contributions from a broad range of local and international photographers. And don't even get me started on WON Magazine.
Of course, the next step in their evolution as an active agent of the arts is for NowNow to curate an exhibition. Collating works from contributors as far afield as Sweden, USA, UK and Adelaide, Neverness, Part 1 contrasts notions of eternity to frame the exploratory nature of a global group show.
Somehow finding clarity through the eyes of many, this is a group show that knows what you mean when you say ‘not another bleedin' group show'. Featuring work by Linus Bill, Thobias Fäldt, Conor O'Brien and others, this show is on for one night only before heading up to Sydney's Black & Blue Gallery. One can only wonder what they'll do next.
Medium: Photography
Drink: Anything, as long as you look good holding it
Keywords: Photography, WON, Now Now
Cuprocking, Andy Uprock
What:
Cuprocking, Andy Uprock
Where:
Section 8, 27-29 Tattersalls La, Melbourne
When:
TONIGHT! Wed May 28, 6.30pm
How much:
Free as pickin up a cup and sticking it in a hole
Don't you think it's hard to stay cool in an age of relentless cultural turnover? There is always some new-fangled form of music or art or something to be obsessed with and drop into buzzer bee conversation. Luckily you are reading this because the word of the day is... 'Cuprock'.
Heard of it? It's a new form of street art for us all! So drop your stencils for a moment and come down to the glorified shipping container that is Section 8 where you can sit on dirty cushioned milk crates in your three hundred dollar jeans to watch Sydney-sider Andy Uprock stick cup shaped rubbish in a chain-link fence.
Vice and Mooks think it's cool and have thrown some coin at it, which means free drinks. The coloured pixel-like result will most likely look hypnotically pretty and make you wish you had thought of it. We can only hope that he is using recycled materials and that the thousands of cups are securely fixed, so as to avoid the choking of possums up the road at Edinburgh gardens. That would not be cool.
Ambience: Outdoor
Difficulty: Won't hurt a bit
Keywords: Section 8, Street Art
i like you
What:
i like you
Where:
80 Johnson St, Fitzroy
When:
Mon-Fri 11am-7pm, Sat 11am-6pm, Sun 11am-5pm
Contact:
9417 0399
If you think about the last time someone turned to you and said, "Hey, I like you!" Chances are you'll stare wistfully out the window and crave pie. But we're here to tell you that a) we're pretty fond of you and b) people don't say they like each other enough. Before you take your fingers to your tongue and gesticulate barfing, think about it. Now call your friend and tell them you like them and when you've done that read on...
Now that you've saved the planet from it's premature end, or at least freaked your friend out a little, here's the point of this article: there's a new store in Fitzroy and it likes you. ‘i like you' (nee Curious Eidolon) houses labels with a friendly objective. Ethically produced stock made by labels from local and US designers fill the store on Johnson Street. Swim through the racks and find Manque, She Bible, Sacha Drake, Up Your Alley, and their in-house label i like you.
Product: Fashion
Anatomy: Whole body
Keywords: Fitzroy, Accessories, Design
Von Haus
What:
Von Haus
Where:
1a Crossley St, Melbourne (behind The Paperback)
When:
Mon-Fri 12-11pm, Sat 5-11pm
Contact:
9662 2756
Eugene Von Guerard was a prominent Australian colonial landscape painter who lived above The Paperback on Bourke Street. Actually, we don't know how long the Paperback's been there, but it seems like at least 118 years. Anyway, unlike other artists at the time, he actually knew what gum trees looked like. And, appropriately, the bar that has just opened in his old living room knows what a bar should look like.
The problem with Von Haus is that it is way, way too fricken awesome. So please, please, don't go there if you are in a goonbaggish mood. And don't take your friends from the office, or your bridge and tunnel buddies. This is the kind of bar that deserves Melbourne's hushed appreciation - of the wine, the colonial-meets-best-of-modernism mannish food, and the well-chosen LCD Soundsystem on the stereo.
Can you promise us this? Then tiptoe along and order a perfect 100ml wine from one of the bottles Hugh has open, get some smoked trout, cold potato and watercress salad for lunch, admire the postmodern fracturing of the Pellegrini's sign ('grini') through the window, stay for ‘elevenses', and be a man of the sort who knows a good tree when he sees one.
Venue: Bar
Meal: Snacktastic
Sound Clash Thursdays
What:
Sound Clash Thursdays
Where:
F4, Lvl 2, 322 Lt Collins St, Melbourne
When:
Launching Thurs May 29, doors 10pm
How much:
$5 (snap!)
Description:
Opulent are snapping a branch off their Favela nights and planting it in soil closer to the CBD. Sound Clash is a night of, b-more, dancehall, hip hop and pop. So it's really quite similar to the Favela nights but with a little more juice for the dancefloor, a weekly turnaround and frighteningly cheap drinks (two for one basics and $4 beers). Like snakes squirming towards the vibrations in the ground, the ears of Opulent fans will prick up to the disco anthems and wriggle over to F4 for the sounds from MAFIA, Infinity Sound, man of the moment Luke Brown and Mosse.
Event: DJs
Stimulus: sound the horns!
Lonely Teardrops #2
What:
Lonely Teardrops #2
Where:
The Blue Diamond, Lvl 15, 123 Queen St, Melbourne
When:
Thurs May 29, doors 7pm
How much:
$10
Description:
It is not often that a show comes along so perfectly curated and lovingly planned. Those who experienced the first Lonely Teardrops know what to expect. Others will have their faith in Melbourne's nightlife reinstated. There is no room for cynicism here but we are bad at earnestness, so we're gonna quote two of the organisers. Richie 1250: "The headline band is called Marcelle and The Blowwaves, they do real nice old girl group stuff with the four-part harmonies and Marcelle has a killer voice. I only seen 'em once cause they don't play much but I really dug it. I really like the other groups playing too, Your Animal is a bass/violin/vocal kinda dramatic torch song type deal and The Moonhops are that rocksteady band I am always on about. Monty Montan: "Its better to have loved and loved and to have kept on loving for the entirety of your fucken life (as opposed to 'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' - give that shit the bird)". Word.
Event: Party
Stimulus: E
Keywords: Lonely Teardrops, The Blue Diamond
Melbourne Locked Out protest
What:
Melbourne Locked Out protest
Where:
Meet at Treasury Gardens, cnr Spring and Flinders sts
When:
Fri May 30, 5pm
How much:
Free
What else:
Download the petition here and print it out and get your friends to sign it then post it back to the people before June 1. Email newsletter@melbournelockedout.com to join the mailing list for updates.
Description:
The State Government is trialling a 2am lock out for licensed venues starting next weekend. Here's what we think: This 2am lock out idea sucks the fat one. For starters, Crown is exempt (dude what??), evidence from other cities points to the fact that peeps will be forced to drink more in shorter periods of time then wander the streets like goon bags with legs, where they will be unable to find cabs. We stake our reputation in this town upon places like Pony where you can see amazing acts playing in small venues and this lock out will mess with that culture in a big way. So, no excuses people, join the rest of generation Y at this protest on Friday. If nothing else, it will be awesomely horrendous to see everyone sober in the cruel cruel light of day.
Event: Party
Stimulus: sound the horns!
Nightclub 2: Everybody's Free
What:
Nightclub 2: Everybody's Free
The 2008 Next Wave Festival Closing Party
Where:
Billboard, 170 Russell St, Melbourne
When:
Fri May 30, 9pm
How much:
$10 at the door
Description:
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. This advice was one of a string of profound messages in that sunscreen speech. It swept across newspapers, graduation ceremonies and nightclubs, morphing into a dance track along the way. On Friday May 30, the utopian ideals of similar weight will be spectacularly posed on the dance floor. Perhaps chemically enhanced, people-hugging, booty-popping punters aren't as free as they think in the multi-million dollar hedonistic circus of the nightclub industry. But enough of the artsy seriousness. This is the closing party, so dance plenty. Just be kind to your knees.
Event: Party
Stimulus: sound the horns!
Keywords: Next Wave Festival
Sweet Jelly Roll
What:
Sweet Jelly Roll
Where:
Public Bar, 238 Victoria St, Melbourne
When:
Fri May 30, 9pm-3am
How much:
$8
Description:
Howlin’ Wolf once crooned that his baby could “shake like jello on a plate” and even when she stopped “her flesh it shake like jello”. This probably isn’t the same kind of flattery JT would use to score a lady in the sack. But this Friday, a certain foxy duo by the names of Thom and Hannah are launching a new night of Memphis, proving that hitching skirts, snapping suspenders and sipping on salt-rimmed crystal is the sweetest way to enjoy the gooiest Jelly Roll this side of the bakery shop. If you can shake like jello on a plate to the sounds of Pearl Jackson, Razor Totin' Slim, DJ Mohair from Bluejuice (PBS) (or you just like loose women), then you, too, shall be sweet.
Event: DJs
Stimulus: C
Keywords: Public Bar, DJs, Memphis
Barkly St yard sale
What:
Barkly St yard sale
Where:
103 Barkly St, Fitzroy
When:
Sat May 31, 10am-5pm
How much:
Pocket change people! And not a cent more.
Description:
Three of Melbourne's best-dressed ladeez are having a ‘yard sale' this Saturday as they reach toward that elusive goal: freedom from clutter. To them, however, ‘clutter' possibly means ‘pair of golden slouchy ankle boots last worn by Bianca Jagger'. And, you know, even if it means ‘clothes I wore in high school', that's just as hot. Plus there will be a food/drink stall component. Get the number 96 up Nicholson to the Holden Street stop, then look for festive balloons and enter from the rear (that's the way they like it).
Event: Sales
Stimulus: C
Guy Blackman, 'Adult Baby' album launch
What:
Guy Blackman, Adult Baby album launch
Where:
The Toff in Town, Lvl 2, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Sat May 31, doors 9pm
How much:
$10+bf from Moshtix, $12 on the door
Win:
Thanks to Remote Control, we have two double passes to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line ‘Guy, Mum says I can have a beer from your rider'
Description:
Beat may have called Guy Blackman the ‘everywhere it boy of the Melbourne indie scene', but he's taking that in his stride and releasing an album anyway. Official supports for the show are Laura Jean & Edenland Band and Always, but he might have other guests who featured on the album (we're not saying they're definitely gonna be there, just pointing out that Art of Fighting, the Dirty Three, Crayon Fields, Pikelet, Eddy Current, Fabulous Diamonds and Ground Components are all represented on Adult Baby, and, you know, how could you say no to that li'l face? The Blackman charm is like a wall of unassuming, bespectacled charisma. Anyway, Guy will not be acting like an ‘it boy', he'll politely offer everyone a beer from his rider, or something).
Event: Launch
Stimulus: W
Keywords: The Toff in Town, Always, Guy Blackman
Meccanoid Winter Party
What:
Meccanoid Winter Party
Where:
Section 8, 27-29 Tattersalls La, Melbourne
When:
Sat May 31, 4pm-1am (after party at The Toff)
How much:
Free!
Description:
What is all this global warming business?! We are cold, and the only way to do the cold is après ski. For those not familiar with ‘après ski', it's for uncoordinated people who cannot face the ski slopes, so they spend exorbitant amounts on Chanel earmuffs and sit around drinking too much mulled wine by an open fire. Luckily, Meccanoid has resurfaced after what feels like a long hiatus to offer all the joys of après ski at Section 8 this weekend, complete with snow and a guaranteed-hygenic Jacuzzi! These guys know how to put together a good night out, and have even been considerate enough to include a BBQ to prevent it all from getting too ‘euro trash'. So sit back and enjoy the dulcet tones of Inverto and a plethora of Meccanoid DJs while you shimmy around in your St Moritz finest.
Event: Party
Stimulus: E
Keywords: Section 8
SPOD, 'Aminals' 7 inch launch
What:
SPOD, Aminals 7 inch launch
Where:
The Old Bar, 74-76 Johnston St, Fitzroy
When:
Sat May 31, doors 8.30pm
How much:
$10!
Related links:
Download a version of Aminals here
Description:
Sydney's own electro-rogue SPOD looks like a brunette Owen Wilson and sounds like Beyoncé's dirtiest fantasies. He will show up at your door in tennis whites with a bouquet of plastic roses, and give you the orsum pumpin of a loifetime before popping a wheelie on a child's bike he found in the alleyway behind your house. Now Melbourne will taste the radness again as SPOD launches his first ever 7-inch vinyl release, Aminals, with Regurgitator's Seja Vogel on keyboards and Blacklevel Embassy as the SPOD band! And if that's not enough SPOD for one weekend, he and Seja are also bringing the party to the 2am slot at Pony on Friday May 30. Rock up at 2am while you still can - and make sure you're wearing your lucky undies.
Event: Launch
Stimulus: A
Keywords: The Old Bar, Experimental
We Love Sounds is approaching fast. It's next week, in fact - Saturday June 7 (Queen's Birthday Weekend) in Shed 4 at Victoria Harbour, Docklands. This means many things, including The Bravery, Cassius and Ed Banger's Mr ‘do it at the disco' Oizo. But mainly, it means !!! (colloquially referred to as Chk Chk Chk). Tickets are $95 +bf from Ticketek and Hardwarecorp.
Due to the fact that $95 is - though worth it - a fair whack of the roast, we're happy that onelove, Hardware and Filter music have given us a double pass to give away, as well as a limited-edition Steak 45" from one of the We Love Sounds acts. To enter, just answer the following question:
This week's question:
The artist behind Steak 45" is
a) Shannon Bennett
b) The same guy who did ‘Minuteman's Pulse' on Ed Rec Vol III
c) Ambivalent about Wagyu
d) You know, loving the sounds
To be in the running, send your answer AND postal address to win@threethousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email.
ThreeThousand is a weekly snapshot of Melbourne's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we like to call creativity. Without editorial independence ThreeThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.
Advertising Partnerships:
ThreeThousand is a trusted and proven medium for advertisers to engage with Melbourne's most elusive individuals - our subscribers. Each issue offers one advertiser the opportunity to have sole presence in the e-newsletter. A variety of placements (three, to be exact) are also available on threethousand.com.au. For more information on advertising with ThreeThousand contact Francesco at frunch@rightanglepublishing.com and Robbie at robert@rightanglepublishing.com.
Feedback:
Have something to say? Then say it by emailing talk@threethousand.com.au
Disclaimer:
The information in ThreeThousand is subject to change. Although we attempt to ensure that the content at the time of publication is correct, we do not guarantee its accuracy or currency. Right Angle Publishing accepts no responsibility to you or anyone else arising from any use or reliance on the information contained in ThreeThousand or any inaccuracy in the information. The views and opinions expressed on material included in ThreeThousand may not reflect those of Right Angle Publishing.
Contact:
Right Angle Publishing
Level 6, Curtin House
252 Swanston Street
Melbourne, 3000
+ 61 3 9662 1657
ThreeThousand's MySpace:
myspace.com/threethousand
Group Publisher:
Barrie Barton
barrie@rightanglepublishing.com
Editor:
Penny Modra
penny@threethousand.com.au
Acting Editor:
Isabel Dunstan
isabel@threethousand.com.au
Acting Assistant Editor
Sophie Gaston
sophie@threethousand.com.au
Film Editor:
Martyn Pedler
martyn@threethousand.com.au
Music Editor:
Mark Gomes
mark@threethousand.com.au
READ Editor:
Kirsten Law
kirsten@rightanglepublios
Design Monkeys:
tin&ed
Image and Web Monkey:
Remi Carette
Taran Hubbert
STREET Pics Monkeys:
Mia Mala McDonald
Jamima Wu
Contributing Monkeys:
Nadia Saccardo
Max Olijnyk
Dylan Rainforth
Ronan MacEwan
Mel Campbell
Leith Thomas
Check out our 'Meet Me for a Drink' column in The Age EG liftout every Friday...
Meet Me For a Drink Monkeys:
Kirsten Law
Penny Modra
Simon Godfrey
Mark Gomes
Matt Hurst
Josh Gardiner
Isabel Dunstan
Ronan Macewan
Dale Campisi
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