20th Dec 07

What:
ThreeThousand Christmas Party

Where:
Shit Town, next to St Jeromes, through the silver door

When:
Sat Dec 22, 7pm

How much:
Invitation only. We want to invite ya’ll, but we would need to book Richmond Oval or something, so the best we can do is offer ten double passes. Just email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject line ‘I hate shandy anyhow’

For some, end-of-year Christmas parties begin with complimentary sandwiches and shandies. These parties usually result in a wild game of spin the bottle and the accounts guy atop a trestle table with his pants down. We know this because we've spent the past few weeks underneath a bar where these kind of office parties have exploded.

We've tried various methods of drowning out the wedding-singer-meets-Austin-Powers impersonator; blowing up our speakers with an antidote for offensive Frank Sinatra recitals, sticking pens into our ears so hard we've bled. We feel the only way to get back at all those who have revelled thusly is to have our own Christmas event.

This Saturday we'll be getting footloose to a repertoire of ditties courtesty of Gaptooth, Penny and Bel, Andie and Lizzz z, BROmance, and Andy from Damn Arms. If you’re looking for a Christmas Party, there will be no sandwiches, no shandies and if anyone challenges us to a game of spin the bottle we'll find a bottle, knock you out with it and kindly ask you to take your pouting lips elsewhere.

We can't guarantee our accounts guy will keep his pants on.

By Isabel Dunstan

Venue: Bar

Meal: Snacktastic

Keywords: Shit Town