Author results: Penny Modra
What:
The 6th Bohemian Masquerade Ball
Where:
Thornbury Theatre, 859 High St, Thornbury
When:
Sat Mar 20, doors 7.30pm
How much:
$25 +BF from here or $30 on the door
Description:
Remember that scene in Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment where Mahoney infiltrates the cave hide-out of Bobcat Goldthwait's biker gang? The Bohemian Masquerade Ball is going to be exactly like that! "A debaucherous boiling-pot of extreme circus, neo-vaudeville, circus rovers, a peep-show burlesque booth and freakish surprises.
Event: Party
Stimulus: Chaos
What:
John Jameson Productions Short Film Night
Where:
Rooftop Cinema, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Tues Mar 23, 8-11pm
How much:
Private event, free Jamesons!
Win:
We have 2 dbls to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'I think this one stars Polly Hot Patootie''
Description:
Most people you ask hate short films. Why do you think that is? You'll say, "Hey! I got tickets to the short film night!" And they'll say, "Shoooooort film? Oh man." Anyway, what this means is there's never any filler at short film events. It's just the people who don't need to be soothed by the magical Hollywood lullaby just to sit still for 90 minutes.
Event: Film
Stimulus: Cheap Date
Welcome to the launch of my new art reviewing system. It's image based. If you text me, and say, "Penny, how's the show?!" I'll send you a picture back for a small fee of $32. Quite often, the picture will be this. And sometimes this or even this. But, on rare occasions, IT WILL BE THIS.
What:
GROUSE relocation party!
Where:
New venue! The Bendigo Hotel, 125 Johnston St, Collingwood
When:
Fri Mar 12, 9pm-3am
How much:
$10 on the door
Win:
We have a dbl pass to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'What do you mean Oprah & Gayle??'
Description:
Girls! For god's sake, you don't need to be watching beards mentally preparing for the iron man challenge again this Friday. Melbourne's most reliable queer party is back - this time with New War DJs, Ann Aminous, Melodee Maker and DJs Oprah & Gayle. Plus a new venue with air conditioning and free drinks on arrival.
Event: Party
Stimulus: Girls girls girls
What:
Blackbird Autumn Market
Where:
Workers Club, 51 Brunswick St, Fitzroy
When:
Sat Mar 13, 11am-5pm
How much:
Free entry!
Description:
You know the drill by now. These girls nail a market pretty hard. Vintage fashion, the up-and-coming designers you love, live bands, weird and confronting art projects, snacks and jewellery. Get in there before the fitzroy wholesome discover this shit and start complaining there's no felt-craft finger puppets or vegetables.
Event: Markets
Stimulus: Be the next Princess Mary
Art is great! There are 26 reasons to buy it. But it is too oft assumed that people want to be near artists. Not true! Why do you think they invented auctions? So Jeffrey Dietch could gain control of your inheritance? No! Artists can be smelly. Some of them have tattoos. They all really like Slavoj Zizek for some reason, and, given the chance, they'll sell their own arses for $1200.
So I've been lurking about behind the Melbourne Club as usual, trying to jimmy that door open, get into the man garden. (Matter of time, granddad.) Meanwhile, I can tell you about some goings on in the multi-gender area of Coates Lane.
Penthouse Mouse, that bastion of LMFF's ever-expanding cultural program, is back.
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